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Salesmen jokes - "No, no, no!" said the enraged businessman to the persistent salesman. "I cannot see you today!" "That's fine," said the salesman, "I'm selling spectacles."
Insect jokes - What do you get if you cross a firefly and a moth ? An insect who can find its way around a dark wardrobe !
Bar jokes, beer, booze and fun! - A golf club walks into a local bar and asks the barman for a pint of beer. The barman refuses to serve him. "Why not," asks the golf club. "You'll be driving later," replies the bartender.
Brother and sister jokes - Peter: My brother wants to work badly! Anita: As I remember, he usually does !
Firefighter jokes - A fire started on some grassland near a farm in Indiana. The fire department from the nearby town was called to put the fire out. The fire proved to be more than the small town fire department could handle, so someone suggested that a rural volunteer fire department be called. Though there was doubt that they would be of any assistance, the call was made. The volunteer fire department arrived in a dilapidated old fire truck. They drove straight towards the fire and stopped in the middle of the flames. The volunteer firemen jumped off the truck and frantically started spraying water in all directions. Soon they had snuffed out the center of the fire, breaking the blaze into two easily controllable parts. The farmer was so impressed with the volunteer fire department's work and so grateful that his farm had been spared, that he presented the volunteer fire department with a check for $1000. A local news reporter asked the volunteer fire captain what the department planned to do with the funds. "That should be obvious," he responded, "the first thing we're gonna do is get the brakes fixed on that stupid fire truck."
Bird jokes - Why did the chicken cross the basketball court ? He heard the referee calling fowls
Idiot and fool jokes - Hatton: I ain't as dumb as I look! Folsom: You couldn't be!
Military jokes - Airmen had to launch two E-3 AWACS from a National Guard base after a heavey snow strom. Well after a 5 hour delay waiting for the snow to be plowed of, they were able to take-off. The planes taxied off and stoped a hundred yards to the flight line. The civilians had forgot to finish the rest of the taxi way.
Men jokes - Men are like mini skirts. If you're not careful, they'll creep up your legs.
Aviation jokes - While cruising at 40,000 feet, the airplane shuddered and Mr. Benson looked out the window. "Good lord!" he screamed, "one of the engines just blew up!" Other passengers left their seats and came running over; suddenly the aircraft was rocked by a second blast as yet another engine exploded on the other side. The passengers were in a panic now, and even the stewardesses couldn't maintain order. Just then, standing tall and smiling confidently, the pilot strode from the cockpit and assured everyone that there was nothing to worry about. His words and his demeanor seemed made most of the passengers feel better, and they sat down as the pilot calmly walked to the door of the aircraft. There, he grabbed several packages from under the seatsand began handing them to the flight attendants. Each crew member attatched the package to their backs. "Say," spoke up an alert passenger, "aren't tho se parachutes?" The pilot said they were. The passenger went on, "But I thought you said there was nothing to worry about?" "There isn't," replied the pilot as a third engine exploded. "We're going to get help."
Barbie doll jokes - There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Hunchback Barbie ...pull the string and she cries, "Sanctuary! Sanctuary!"
Answer me this jokes - Can you repeat the part after "Listen very carefully"?
Bar jokes, beer, booze and fun! - A drunk is refused a drink in a bar, so he undertakes to prove to the barman that he is sober. He gestures toward a cat near the doorway and says, "You see that cat coming in the door? It has two eyes. If I were drunk, I'd see four!" The bartender looks, then pauses a moment. Finally he responds, "You're drunker than I thought!", taking the rest of the alcohol away, "That cat isn't coming in, it's going out!"
Travel and tourist jokes - "Look, guide, here are some LION tracks." "Good. You see where they go and I'll find out where they came from."
Dentist jokes - Anyone know the six most frightening words in the world ??? "The Dentist will see you now."