Losowe wpisy
- » While leading the Friday evening
services, the Rabbi noticed a member of
the congregation, Bernie, walk in
with a St. Bernard dog. The Rabbi,
horrified, asked the Cantor to
continue the service and went to talk to
Bernie.
Rabbi: "What are
doing here with a dog?"
Bernie: "The dog came here to pray."
"Oh,
come on." says the Rabbi.
"YES!" says Bernie.
Rabbi: "I don't
believe you. You are just fooling around; that's not
a
proper
thing to do in temple."
Bernie: "Its true!"..
"Ok", says the Rabbi,
"then show me what the dog can do."
"OK" says Bernie nodding to the
dog...The dog proceeds to open up the
barrel under his neck and
removes a yarmulke, a tallis (puts them on
his
head) and prayer book
and actually starts saying prayers in Hebrew! The
Rabbi is so
shocked he listens for a full 15 minutes.
When the Rabbi regains his
composure, he is so impressed with the
quality
of the praying he
says to Bernie. "Do you think your dog would
consider
going to
Rabbinical school????"
Bernie, throwing up his hands in disgust
says,
"YOU TALK TO HIM! He wants to be a doctor!"
- » While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a
tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear of
alligators kept
him clinging to the overturned craft. Spotting and old
beachcomber
standing on the shore, the tourist shouted,"Are there any
gators around
here?!"
"Naw," the man hollered back, "they
ain't been around for years!"
"Feeling safe, the tourist started
swimming leisurely toward the
shore.
About halfway there he
asked the guy,"How'd you get rid of the
gators?"
"We
didn't do nothin'," the beachcomber said.
"The sharks got
'em."
- » Q: Why do men find it
difficult to make eye
contact?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.
- » Q: What happens if you cross a
midget and
a computer?
A: You get a short circut.
- » Barber: Your hair is getting grey,
Sir.
Customer: I'm not surprised - hurry up, will you?
- » Q: What were Bill and
Chelsea Clinton
doing in the voting booth?
A: Bill was giving his daughter a lesson in
Civics, how to ruin the
people!
- » Tape Recording for Beginners
by Cass
Ette
- » Why is horse racing so romantic?
Because the
horse hugs the rails, the jockey puts his arms around the
horse and
you can kiss your money goodbye!
- » Why couldn't the pig pay his bill?
He was a
little shoat.
- » "Well, children," said the cannibal cooking
teacher. "What
did you make of the new English teacher?"
"Burgers, ma'am."
- » Did you hear about the
Iranian
terrorist who switched off the fans of his stolen helicopter
because he
couldn't stand the draft?
- » What is an Actor? A man who tries to be
everything but
himself
- » What Mrs. Dumpty gave Humpty?
- » your momma so stupid she got locked in a
groceiry store and starved.
- » What did the bus conductor say to the frog?
Hop
on.